How to Let it Go, Forgive, Surrender, Move On and Release the Past

@ 2010  Bill Austin.  All Rights Reserved.

How to Let it Go - Forgive - Surrender - Move On - Release the Past

When you are in the process of releasing the past so that you can move forward in your life, you begin the Let it Go, Forgive, Surrender, Forget and Move On cycle of forgiveness and release. This cycle applies to a whole lot of areas: It could be that we have to let go of a relationship or a significant person in our life. Or we may have to forgive and release a painful life experience like losing a job or breaking up with a partner or coping with the death of a spouse.

Often this is a very painful time for us because we usually do not decide to release things until the pain of holding on to people, events and circumstances is so unbearable that we feel we have to release it. When we are in this space we are not only releasing the past but we are also mourning an important part of our lives. It is very important to be as kind and nurturing to yourself as you can be during this time. Often during this period, we need to withdraw from life to create some time to heal ourselves.

The let it go part of the cycle of release and forgiveness is about taking responsibility for your life, deciding to let go of the person, event and circumstance and choosing to move on. It is an act of will.

The forgive part of the cycle of release and forgiveness is the inner work around healing yourself. It is about doing some inner work on healing yourself on the inside so that you can be happier on the outside. True change always comes from within.

The surrender and move on process is perhaps the hardest and this step is about embracing the change and embodying it on all levels of our being. It is about being with who we are as we work through the forgiveness process.

The Let Go, Forgive, Surrender and Move On process to release the past ends when we move into the final stage which is Forget. When you reach this stage, it is like the experience that triggered the situation never existed in the first place.

One of My Personal Experiences of the Let Go, Forgive, Surrender and Move On Cycle of Release

When I was 46, I went to help a friend buy a new car for the day and my partner moved out and left a Dear John/Bill letter. I had never felt so abandoned and betrayed in my life as I did that day. It took me around six months to heal this pattern. I immediately chose to let go of my ex and to move forward in my life but the forgiveness and surrender process took a lot longer. I finally knew that I was through with this when I no longer got as charged about that individual. 

How to Let Go

Let Go is an act of will. It is signaling to the world that you are taking charge and responsibility for your life. Often it is helpful to create some affirmations to help support you in this process like:

            I choose to let go of ______________________.

          I intend to let go of _______________________.

          I am free of ________________________.

          I bless and release my past with love.

You may want to write them down every day and place them where you can see them every day.

In the Let Go stage of the cycle of release and forgiveness, you may want to go through and clean your home and car. When you find stuff that reminds you of the person, event, relationship or circumstance that you want to release, then you may want to take it to the thrift store. For things like photographs, you may want to put them into storage or give them to a friend to keep for a while.

The most important thing about the Let Go process is to monitor how you feel and to not beat yourself up when you get emotionally triggered and out of sorts. It is more important to get out of that state as soon as possible. One tool that I use during rough times is maintaining a gratitude journal. All you have to do is buy a notebook and write down things you are grateful for. Whenever you feel down, you can look at your journal. I do recommend that you look at the journal at least three times a day ? first thing in the morning, during lunch and the last time before you go to bed.

How to Forgive

First of all I want to acknowledge how hard it is to forgive. When you forgive someone, you are not letting them off the hook or conceding that they are right and you are wrong or condoning what they did. You forgive someone because it lets you off the hook. When you harbor anger in your heart, you cannot ever be happy. So forgiving yourself is an act of self love so that you can move on and not attract similar life experiences. I share three powerful techniques on forgiveness in another place. Click here to learn more.

Try to figure out what is going on. We often are not mad about what we feel we are mad about. A lot of forgiveness issues really originate in early childhood. If we have stuff that needs to be reexamined and healed, often we will attract a person into our life to help us to heal ourselves. So in a way that person who infuriates you is giving you a heads up that you need to look at something and often the thing that really upsets you is often not so much what that person did as it is about what happened in your childhood. Forgiveness often is a form of nurturing and taking care of the inner child within us that got traumatized early in life.

How to Surrender and Move On

The surrender part is perhaps the most difficult one in the process of release. You have to come to a state of inner peace about a person, event or circumstance before you can truly move on. If you do not heal this situation, your soul will often recreate it.  Louise Hay calls this process "blessing with love." I find that the three things that help me the most in this area are to meditate to still my mind, pray to heal my heart and focus on the positive. Each day I will ask at the beginning of the day if there is anything I need to do to continue the healing process.

I find that each day I get fresh insights and more clarity and wisdom about the person, event and circumstancel.  Usually there were a lot of good things about this area of your life or you would not have participated in the experience. When my ex walked out on me, I tried to write down as many positive things as I could about the relationship and I found that we had a lot of great times together. I learned a lot from that person and grew a lot during that period of my life.

I found that a lot of the trauma I had was self inflicted in that by taking it so personally that I made the situation worse than it was original.  I also realized that I had been acting in a place of denial and ignoring some of the signs that the relationship was faltering because I wanted it to work out so badly.  I also realized that the other person had made the right decision and I was upset to some extent because of the timing more than the actual breakup. That person actually did me a huge favor and it took a lot of courage.

I feel it is very important to honor yourself and your body during this process. Try to eat as well as you can and drink lots of water. Try not to make too many important decisions while you are in this space. Be as kind to  yourself as you can be. Interact as much as possible with positive upbeat people. Often I am drawn to hanging out in nature during a cycle of release. I like to take walks on the beach, lay down on the ground and connect as deeply as I can to nature.



Healing Your Relationships Guided Meditation MP3 Audio Recording

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Natural Health and Holistic Healing Facilitator Bill Austin
Holistic Healer
Bill Austin

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